A divorce is rarely anything other than a recipe for stress. The closer a divorce case moves towards court, the more helpless and powerless parties may feel. However, it is possible to restore control to the process through divorce mediation.
The Traditional Approach to Divorce
The traditional divorce model starts with a lawsuit. From here court appearances begin and the issues are addressed so as to provide a foundation for the rest of the case. Then the attorneys begin to work the case in preparation for trial. If there are disagreements between the parties, then motions may have to be filed and heard by the court. Documents and evidence may have to be assembled through a time consuming and expensive process known as discovery. Depositions may have to be taken and ultimately a trial may have to be held.
If the case proceeds to a trial, all power over the outcome will be surrendered to a judge. If this is the course that is taken, the process can take many months causing many thousands of dollars to be spent with the parties having little to no direct input as to the outcome of the case.
A Paradigm Shift
Divorce mediation allows the parties to work with an individual known as a divorce mediator in a process designed to resolve their domestic dispute outside of the courtroom. This process allows the parties to work together without the pressure of litigation, in a less formal environment and in a fashion that allows alternative dispute resolution concepts to be considered as opposed to the harsh, often contrasting approach that can be expected in the courtroom.
The most important concept is that the parties cannot be forced to do anything in divorce mediation. This means they cannot be ordered to take any specific action, nor can anyone compel them to do anything. While this can be confusing to many people, divorce mediation, as an alternative dispute resolution model, is successful when the parties themselves reach an agreement. In short, divorce mediation works when the parties reach the agreement between each other.
While the willingness of the parties to mediate is very important to the process, the skill and input of the mediator provides the foundation of the process. The effective mediator is an individual who is trained in conflict resolution and may in fact be a divorce attorney. The divorce mediator has a variety of skills that include negotiation, an understanding of the divorce process and an understanding of the human dynamics that will be experienced in divorce.
Perhaps the most effective skill a divorce mediator will have is the ability to encourage the parties to think outside of the box while at the same time showing them that the best manner in which to approach their divorce is to work with each other to reach a fair resolution. As a neutral third party the divorce mediator cannot take sides, provide legal counsel or tell the parties what to do. However, through their skills and training the divorce mediator can be an extremely effective settlement tool. Most importantly the parties don't have to get along, they simply need a good faith desire to settle their case.
The Timing of Mediation
Mediation can occur at anytime in the process with or without attorneys. Ultimately, there is little in the way of disadvantage for any party by way of divorce mediation. If you are going through a divorce or about to go through a divorce, consider submitting your case to mediation.
Sean Keefer - I am an attorney and a writer living in the Charleston, South Carolina area. I write about current events, legal issues, photography, ...
